My Dear Little Boy

He was very quiet and timid. I put him in the house, I don't want him to be away. He sounded and I let him come to us. He could barely walk. He lied there, weak and helpless. Of course, he didn't consume anything for the past few days. He's lost weight so drastically.

We decided to give him a drink.

He gulped a few drops, still laying there. His eyes blanked, and he didn't blink even once. The iris of his eyes were dull. He didn't move much.

I lifted him, put him on my lap and caress him a little - thought I could ease his pain even a little. He suddenly kicked, his body stretched. I heard his painful voice when he shrieked and vomited fluid, he was in such unimaginable pain. We didn't care about the carpet, or the fluid vomit, nothing. I just want him to be fine.

But not a second after that, he lied there in my hands motionless. Limb. Lifeless. He didn't move a bit. I put my hand on his chest. Tried to find a pulse. I pressed his chest lightly, repeatedly. I wanted his heart to beat again. I tapped his abdomen, opened his mouth, lifted his body.

But he lied there still, and there wasn't any heartbeat anymore. Nothing. Only a lifeless body.

We sit there, hoping that he'd breathe again soon, but no. Still nothing. There were only the sounds of us crying out his name filling the air.

We didn't know what to do.

Only a minute later, I touched him again, hoping for a miracle. But no. He was cold and stiff. There was nothing that we could do. He was gone.

We cried, we called his name, we wanted him to get up and jump, run around the he used to.

But no. He left.

It rained that night.

He lived with our pouring love. He died with our arms around him. It was raining outside, and it also poured heavily in our hearts. We looked at his innocent cute face the last time. We wrapped him with our tender love and care for the last time. We stood there, and buried him in rain and tears.

I'm going to have to sleep alone in the small room from tonight onward. You won't be accompanying me anymore now. I won't wake up looking at you sleeping nor will I wake up and look into your marble-like eyes. God, I really hope for a miracle to happen.

You are one of the most beautiful creature I've ever seen and loved. You will be dearly missed throughout our lives. That well-behaved, active, obedient cute little boy. We all love you.

She says your fur is like a painting. A Siamese pattern with fading stripes from your tail to abdomen. And I say the color of your fur is like sand. Light brown, dark ears, legs and tail.

I wonder, what went wrong? What didn't we do to save him? What did we miss, that we weren't able to save him? Why couldn't we save him? Why was it too late to save him? Why? Why can't we save him?

I'm so sorry, dear boy.

I don't want to lose you. We all don't. Never. But you left.