A Backstabber and Not

OK. Here's my friend on my right, and her fiancee on my left. Her fiancee made me his  adik angkat about a month ago when we first met in Borneo Rainforest on Halloween. He made my friend invite me to join them that day and I did.


Here's how it went.


I was disappointed with my Prince, who is now an ex. He and others saw me crying and looking gloomy back then. All of them was trying to cheer me up - not crying in the middle of a chaotic club. Then two of them - her fiancee and there's this guy who cared about me and always telling me not to cry but smile always (kinda like him.hehe). Both of them helped me in getting over my ex (as well as my friend and others)..making me a stronger person, strong enough to dump my ex. Then, God knows how and why, three of us - me, this guy and this fiancee guy. We hang out together a lot and talk about almost everything. And he made me his adik angkat. I even asked for her permission - is it OK if he takes me as his adik angkat. She said yes.


Then there's this someone who pointed at me saying I like my own friend's fiancee. It's almost out of this world, at least for me. How could I ever take my friend's love when I had feel the pain of having my partner taken? And it happened twice!


Never!


The relationship grows between me and my brother as time goes by, and we bond in a very short period of time. We had luahan perasaan to each other, we talked about all the things in the world. But the part where I can hang on to this brother of mine is that I'm comfortable with him. No, we are comfortable with each other. Even sometimes when we are close I don't really feel comfort, I kept in mind that he's a brother and we are supposed to be that close. A brother right? Blood binding doesn't matter - what's in your heart matters. I hold on to that.


As time flies, we grow closer to each other and he's been telling me about how he wants to walk away and that he admits being with her all along was a mistake. He's just waiting for the right time to pop the statement that might hurt her to the deepest. And I've been trying to tell him that if he still loves her, just go on with whatever that they're having right now and just fix any wreck, talk to each other and make something out of it. Even to her, I asked her to come up to him and fix everything.


But, there's a but.


He keeps running away from her and avoiding her approaches and just let everything be. She was miserable, he was spending his time with me instead. Guilt was on every inch of my flesh. Luckily most of the time, the other guy was there - so it was three of us, not just me and him. And at the same time his friends (whom are her friends too) are telling her that he's cheating on her with me. Many kinds of accusations that I wasn't aware of. Only him and the other guy. This suffocates me as she is my bestfriend, she knows about me, my life, who I am and what I've been through.


So, as I was telling him (and her aswell) to keep going on, last Friday 28/11 when he picked me up from work and I asked him where was he from - Kampung Baru, fiancee's place; he left her. Well if he asks me I would say it's so unbelievable. It really was, as I kept asking him about it - did it really happen or that he was just messing around. But my hunch was true. he left her. 


And now I have a feeling that my friend is blaming me for that - maybe thinking that I wanted to steal her fiancee in the first place. Plus, all those nasty people around her poisoning her mind telling this and that about me. I can tell. It's common among women. Instead of coming up to me and clear things up, she prefers to listen to all her ridiculous friends, who clearly don't know anything about me. I bet she knows me better. Way better than her other friends.
Alas, coming up to the third party isn't always a preferred thing to do unless a person has experienced terrible loss due to a third party. I think I can digest that. And that I understand how a girl would act if she thought her own bestfriend betrays her. Definitely I can get that to my head.


Nevertheless, the damage is done and lesson learnt. I should never step into a person's relationship, especially when it's going over a rough patch. Definitely a no no. And what I'm upset about is that she really thought I backstabbed her, which is totally absurd! I never betrayed her. I even stayed on her side when my brother was telling me all the things about her doings behind him that he gets to know much later, or those things she did without him knowing. And when he asked me, I just told him the truth without knowing that he never knew anything about her activities behind him. I only told him the truth! I never want them to split..


:: Dear friend, if you read this, please understand and realize that I never betray you. Not in any way or with any intentions. I treasure you.